Christmas cheer

I am such a bad blogger. I never seem to have the time to actually sit and put my thoughts into writing. I am currently on a business trip in Philly, alone in a hotel room, making myself write something.

It is a known fact that Christmas season/Dec. have always been extremely hectic for me. As a child of divorce- not only my parents, but grandparents- my brother and I had 5 celebrations to attend throughout the month. Which as a child was AWESOME for gifts, but as an adult somewhat draining. But I am not complaining too much-at least I have the family to still celebrate with. Minus one Makenzie.

I have to say this holiday season has been tough. Seeing Santa with the newborns at the Mall last week struck a nerve. Then there was the company Christmas party where one of the wives-after much to drink-began telling us "you two are gonna have another baby by next Christmas. I just know it!" Oh-If I had a $(or guarantees) for all those that have made similiar statements.
The fact is, since the day after Makenzie's birth/death day, everyone started hinting at dh and I destined to be parents. Are they prophets or just optimist??

We were told by D.Drs' (aka Duke Docs) we only had to wait 3-4 months to begin trying again, as long as the heart doc says "good to go". That would put us ttc starting Feb.-Question being- Am I ready for that anxiety and disappiontment when it doesn't happen in month 1, month 2, month 3 and so on..................